“ Which Jesus? There’s all kinds of Jesus there’s a black Jesus down in Florida, he’s having a good time, there’s a Mexican Jesus down in Mexico, I mean there’s all kinds of Jesus there’s a Jewish Jesus. I mean Jesus, you know all kinds of Jesus coming back everywhere! And nothing can stop it! It’s a consciousness that lives in your mind!! Ladadadada!”  -Charles Manson-

I wanted to do something a little different here on the site, offer something other than the usual nerd offerings; plus its always good to expand ones horizons and not get stuck doing or watching the same old thing. Another area of interest for me is crime, noir stories and true crime novels. Attorney Vincent Bugliosi wrote the single best crime novel as he details every inch of the bizarre Manson family and the twisted soap opera that followed.

I was offered the chance for some extra credit in my Criminal Justice class and thought a book review of “Helter Skelter” would be an interesting topic considering it’s been a fascination of mine since high school. Manson is constantly lumped in with the rest of the psychos the media has brought to our attention over the last 50 years. Except he was not full-blown insane as usual suspects of Bundy, Gacy, Berkowitz and Ramirez. Sure, Manson was a wack-a-do of the highest order, his derangement stemmed not from a physical trauma or chemical imbalance, but a hatred for society. His terrible upbringing; his teen prostitute mother, his status as ill-legitimate delinquent- all stewed together to make the most infamous Sociopath. Manson provides the study of a man whose life revolved around interpersonal violence in all its manifestations. There was nothing this man wouldn’t do to reach his goals – he would rape, murder, manipulate, and lie – all in the name of his personal ambitions. He was really no different than most of our elected officials of the last 40 years, except Manson was a dirty hippie, ex-con with the knack to convince ugly women to follow him. Whatever Manson lacked in solid judgment and reason, he made up for it with charisma and the ability to communicate exactly what he wanted you to know; an ability most politicians would kill to have.

As many times as fiction has tried, none have created a villain as compelling, fascinating, stupid, brilliant, evil and pathetic as Charles Manson. It’s hard to believe Manson has been in prison for over forty years now due to his participation in the Tate-LaBianca murders in Los Angeles in the summer of 1969. So far removed, yet still chained to current events, Manson has become the go-to boogey man only nightmares are made of, yet a true individual who was destined to burn his world to the ground. An unremarkable man, he become the icon of the failed hippie movement of the 1960’s, a twisted representation of free love that was spawned in Height Ashbury Park in 1967 and culminated with the deaths of nine people, life sentences for the perpetrators and a murder story that created a media frenzy foreshadowing what occurs with alarming regularity today.
Long before OJ Simpson and the media circus began with a “trial of the century,” Prosecuting Attorney Vincent Bugliosi had the daunting task of convincing a jury of twelve that Charles Mills Manson manipulated, twisted and convinced his band of bloodthirsty, naive followers to do anything he ordered them to do- including murder. His first-hand account, “Helter Skelter” is quite simply the finest true crime novel ever written. It spares no expense, highly detailed and gets inside, as much as anyone could, the mind of Manson and his followers, or at least his twisted motivation for his/their reign of terror.
The novel reads very much like a noir book; it establishes a vibrant Los Angeles city; a character itself, full of conflict; dreams, beauty and unheeded evil and establishes a cast of wild characters each with their own unique reveries and motivations. Bugliosi never goes overboard with legal talk and always keeps the prose easy and understandable. He sets the scene and the backstories of all the victims and the murderers are given much detail and insight; he dissects and cracks their psyche; we feel we know them by the time the horror begins with the two nights, of the drug-induced murder spree.
A fascinating story from all angles, the idea that a short little ex-con in his 30’s could rope, manipulate and coerce a band of young men and women in their late teens and early 20’s into doing his bidding could only be claptrap cooked up by Hollywood B movie makers, but it happened. A sordid, disturbing assembling line of characters plays out like a sleazy soap opera full of all the required ingredients; sex, drugs, the Hollywood connection, a roller-coaster narrative, double-cross and murder, set against the backdrop of the “free love and counter-culture movement” of the late 1960’s. Bugliosi does a fantastic job of setting the historical context and keeping things linear and coherent, he captures the tenor of the times. There is a massive amount of characters and players in this bizarre story, but Bugliosi and co-writer Curt Gentry keep it simple despite its wordy 700 pages; we feel we are getting a history, law and criminal lesson all in one.
He keeps the focus on the story’s main villain- Manson- a study in the power of words, charisma and a perverse, evil vision. The best aspect of the novel is how Bugliosi engages Manson; he establishes a rapport and draws him into conversations. He knows this inconspicuous little man is proud of what he’s done and wants to brag in his own way; as does his conspirators, Susan Atkins, Patricia Krenwinkle, and Leslie Van Houten. There are some truly deranged thoughts and words that emerge, but Manson stays the focus and we quickly realize what a con he’s always pulling. A terrible upbringing, no father, a prostitute mother, with a persecution complex, he always blamed everyone else for who he is, telling the jury “you made me this way.
The novel’s engrossing elements are two-fold; the legal perspective as Bugliosi works diligently and at times, he thinks, futilely, to prosecute the gang on what at first, appears to be flimsy evidence. His talents were not just telling the jury Manson and his bunch were nutjobs, he did that, but allowed them to show off their psychosis through tantrums, yelling profanities, On several occasions, Manson verbally threatened both the judge and prosecutor Bugliosi in court, and at one point attempted to physically attack the judge while his followers were laughing during testimonies of the relatives of the victim’s stories. The criminal perspective as, for the first time, Manson is allowed to give his reasons for the killings. This is truly the work of a bizarre, crazed mind. Although never clinically diagnosed as “insane” he appears to have done it to scare people and to impress his followers and to instill some form of loyalty among his Family making them believe in and with him, they’d not survive what was going to happen. The gospel according to Manson as foretold, by The Beatles, on The White Album Manson was preparing in early January 1969, the Family escaped the desert’s cold and positioned itself to monitor L.A.’s supposed tension by moving to a canary-yellow home in Canoga Park, not far from the Spahn Ranch.   Because this locale would allow the group to remain “submerged beneath the awareness of the outside world”, Manson called it the Yellow Submarine, another Beatles reference.          There, Family members prepared for the impending apocalypse, which, around the campfire, Manson had termed “Helter Skelter”, after the song of that name. By February, Manson’s vision was complete. The Family would create an album whose songs, as subtle as those of the Beatles, would trigger the predicted chaos. Ghastly murders of whites by blacks would be met with retaliation, and a split between racist and non-racist whites would yield whites’ self-annihilation. Blacks’ triumph, as it were, would merely precede their being ruled by the Family, which would ride out the conflict in “the bottomless pit”—a secret city beneath Death Valley. Manson and his clan would hide out and wait for the victor to seek them out, deeming him King Charlie. However since it didn’t begin on its own, the Tate/LaBianca murders would set things in motion. It happened gradually as he begged the prison to let him stay upon his release in 1967, but as he gained power and influence over his minions, he saw the opportunity and jumped on it- always the opportunist.
The most intriguing element in the entire Manson saga is how he manipulated the young people to do his bidding. How does a guy in his early 30’s relate to the new generation who was supposed to be suspicious of anyone over 30? Incredible more so that most of the girls that came to live with the family were from good, wealthy, upper-middle class families with nothing to run from- yet they ran straight into the arms of a devil. Some of the girls did have father-issues and Manson was quick to tell them how he could fix that problem. Through constant drug use, (LSD mostly) sex and good ole’ fashion brain washing, Charlie got inside their heads and remade them; removed their social conditioning and installed his rules. Much like a drill Sargent in the army; he stripped them down to build them back up into his own soldiers. Whatever the young people believed in, Manson would tear it down. Whatever they didn’t understand or like, Manson would praise it, love it and keep it. He told them exactly what they wanted to hear and what he wanted them to know.
The worst kind of Sociopath you can imagine coupled with mother issues and a twisted world view. He hated society and felt he was given a raw deal in life and wanted everyone to pay for it. He had already created his own society; had his own rules, values (lack thereof) and morals. He rewrote everything about society he hated; (removing taboos- murder was acceptable) in thy image. By instigating a “race war,” he wanted to replace the current society with his own; one where he was somebody who mattered and people paid attention to him. Every time in the past when someone hurt Manson, he tried but usually failed to strike back, now was the first time he had power behind his threats- for one brief moment in time he was somebody; no longer the dirty ex-con with the bruised ego and demolished self-esteem that people shunned.
To say Manson was/is nuts is easy to gather, but he was never diagnosed as insane, but with a severe Anti-social Personality Disorder, which makes it impossible for him to feel remorse or empathy for his actions. He would like to be remembered for his kooky race war scenario, but Manson was and still is just a taker having never taken any responsibility for his actions despite the overwhelming evidence against him. Which is why he did what he did- anything that came out of his warped brain was fine with him and gave power to his blossoming Messiah complex- makes sense as to why he constantly referred to himself as Jesus Christ- in his many self-aggrandizing speeches he wanted everyone to know and feel sorry for “poor Charlie,” yet he also called himself the Devil as he liked to use fear, power and intimidation to get his ways. Whatever he called himself, his Family believed every word he said. They worshiped him, they were all his disciples.
The real reason for the murders was initially being rebuffed by Beach Boys’, Dennis Wilson who at first tried to connect Charlie up with music producers to get a deal and later pulled away from the family. No one liked what he was selling and Manson was angered. He had been to the Tate residence 10050 Cielo Drive, himself in the early summer of ’69, looking for music producer Terry Melcher, but he had moved. His motive was to instill fear into Melcher because Manson felt he had given his word on a few things and never came through with them. As for the LaBianca killings- Phil Kaufman – who Charlie befriended in Terminal Island prison before being released in 1967 – had connections to the music industry and was trying to help Manson get a break. Kaufman also used to hang out at the home of Harold True, who until September of 1968 lived on Waverly Drive next to the Labianca house. None of Kaufman’s music industry connections panned out for Charlie and Phil suggested that one possible reason why Manson picked the Labianca house was to send him a message.
Here was a little man who had nothing of achievement behind him, floundering in the present and prison for his future, undone by the power of his own hubris. Surprisingly, Charlie has a point, society was the one that made him; we all are, he was thrown in and out of reform school and prison with no real evidence or efforts of rehabilitation. Not a real smart way to handle criminals, to make them worse coming out than when they went in, but then Mason wasn’t the brightest bulb in the lamp and could have reformed on his many chances at freedom, but his ego, and over-powering need to “strike back” was too consuming.
Bugliosi brings it all to a sobering end with a win for the Prosecution- sending Manson and his family to prison for the rest of their natural lives. Reading the novel, even if you weren’t alive at the time the crimes occurred, (I wasn’t born until 1972) you feel a sense of dread as you realize Post-war America died that summer of 1969; all the dreams, ideals and hopes set forth by President Kennedy in 1961 were finally swept away.
These were horrible times in American history, California Dreaming or not, and the simple fact of the matter is that Charles Manson and his family lived a counterculture lifestyle that was hip with middle class and upper-middle class culture during this era. They hung, ever-so-briefly, with the young in-crowd of Hollywood, (Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys, music producer Terry Melcher, son of Doris Day) But when the constant use of psychedelic drugs, Manson’s derangement, combined with the unique isolation of Spahn (and later Barker) ranch, began to take hold, Manson and his family entered a deadly alternative world having no touch with reality. The in-crowd slams the door in their face, the hope for rock and roll super stardom disappears, Manson becomes God, and it’s time to strike back at the rich and powerful piggies. It’s such a sad and ugly story.

 The Avengers - Marvel’s best picture to date! A new gold standard has been set by Writer/Director Joss Whedon’s whose trademark snark fits perfectly with the always squabbling Earthiest mightiest heroes. Perfectly cast and performed, this is what summer entertainment, and comic book heroics are all about. Certainly not a game changer creatively, but definitely one to emulate- what a magnificent ride! Almost nostalgic in its transportation effect of recalling bigger and better summers of years past. A unique contender as it entered into the exclusive billion dollar box-office club, a feat well earned.

Skyfall- James Bond at 50, the 23^rd entry in the franchise and 007 has never been better. Directed by Sam Mendes, this wonderfully gritty character study has some of the finest moments the franchise has ever seen. A great villain in the form of Javier Bardeem plays it to the hilt, (hints of Ricardo Montalhban for future reference) without taking it too far. Wonderful shot in the arm; dark, agile, and scattered with moments of unanticipated visual genius. Judi Dench steals the show as M, but Director Mendes is the true star as his brings a sheen of classiness; his approach is elegant – no manic editing and blurry unintelligible images here – but what makes the movie special is the attention he pays to the characters. Not since the also brilliant “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service,” has Bond been so open, interesting- human. 

We Have to talk about Kevin – Bleak and very prophetic, the shootings in Colorado and Connecticut reverberate here. This is not exploitation, but a smart and exhaustive examination of a meaningless, horrible act. Tilda Swinton plays the mother of the son convicted of unspeakable acts. Despite its oppressive sadness, the film is enormously compelling and never takes the Lifetime Movie of the Week route with trite emotional gushers.

Bernie- Jack Black gives his finest performance as Bernie Teadme, a guy nice who murdered the town’s meanest resident played by Shirley MacLaine. Directed by Richard Linklatter, this twisted little black comedy is based on a real and true story. Matthew McConaughey is hilariously sleazy as the town’s District Attorney. Surprisingly funny despite its morbid outcome.

John Carter – Disney bungled the marketing of this film to colossal proportions. Had they left the title alone, “John Carter and the Princess of Mars,” they might have had a franchise on their hands, despite its failure, the film is tons of fun. Excellent special effects and a capable performance in lead Taylor Kitsch. I say capable because no one goes to see films like this to get Lee Strasberg’s style acting.  Inspired action and plenty to get a thrill from as the seeds for Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and Indiana Jones are buried within. A film that will gain its respect in the decades to come.

Moonrise Kingdom- Director Wes Anderson has a style all his own. Like David Lynch he has a bent sense of humor that is lost on most people. His best film to date, the joys and pains of first love, and the adults who seem to get in the way.  Interjected with his trademark wit and whimsy; his sense of the absurd, and his singular visual style is at peak performance. Ed Norton, Bruce Willis, Bill Murray and Frances McDormand lead the cast.

Cabin in the Woods- It was definitely Joss Whedon’s year; co-written by the man of the hour, he does what Scream did 15 years ago (but far better) by removing the guts of the horror genre, examining them, poking fun and shoving them back in for future use. Funny and ingenious, the film nearly was lost in a studio bankruptcy having been completed in 2009. Chris Hemsworth, Bradley Whitford, Richard Jenkins are excellent and a genre favorite makes a clever cameo.

Prometheus – Ridley Scott returned to his sci-fi roots, the ALIEN universe to bring a long-awaited prequel, this time detailing the Space Jockeys, Misunderstood by most of the geek community, as they leveled stupid, ignorant gripes that are answered by doing something miraculous- PAYING ATTENTION TO THE MOVIE!  Scott’s visual eye is unrivaled; magnificent in every scene, a real eye-popper. It’s not without some narrative weight to throw around and chew on after the movie is done. An excellent film, Roger Ebert agrees!

Django Unchained – Tarantino gives out some genre love with his cross-pollinating of spaghetti western and blacksplotation; using plot points from the trashy 1976 “Mandingo;” he creates a fascinating monster that underscores the horror of slavery while showcasing the strength of the human spirit. Not nearly as talky and tedious as “Basterds,” but a tad too long in the running time. Still it’s worth the effort, some outstanding performances make this his best film since “Kill Bill.” Jamie Foxx in the title role and Samuel L. Jackson as Steven, the foul-mouthed Major Domo to Candyland, are the two best performances with Leonardo DeCaprio having a great time as Plantation owner, Calvin Candy. Despite this fantasy, it’s one that truly clatters the chains of slavery, confronting not just the racist expectations but also the economic power structure that buttressed it — the ironies, duplicities and sinister evils that permitted the system to thrive for so long. Only Tarantino could take such an ugly chapter in human history and make it enjoyable. It’s an emblematic, even epitome of the Tarantino strategy: to take two obsolete, infamous genres, dust them off and mash them together into a digestible meal.

Lincoln – Daniel Day Lewis stars the 16th President, Abraham Lincoln. Unusual for Lewis, his performance is surprisingly low-key, very well-modulated as is the Directing by Steven Spielberg who could have taken this to the extremes by revering Lincoln to a sickening and untruthful degree. Sally Field is excellent as she grapples with Mary Todd’s fragile emotional stability. Not necessarily the best version of Abe’s life, but a damn good one as DDL makes him about as real and human as we’ve ever seen. A wonderful look at how our government if used for noble intentions, can work miracles. Abe’s moments with his son Tad, cuddling with him on the floor are profound in their simplistic way. James Spader and Tommy Lee Jones offer great support as Abe’s opponents in the Senate.

Best Comedies 

 That’s My Boy – At this point in his career, Adam Sandler is Jay Leno. Tired, lame, irrelevant and enormously unfunny…left to his own devices he is the worst. Formula pays the bills and his ego and the nice guy schmaltz take over and render his comedies instantly forgettable and clichéd.  Except when he pushes himself, like FUNNY PEOPLE and PUNCH DRUNK LOVE- he’s funny as hell when he doesn’t play it safe. Ignored by audiences and trashed by critics, I’m not sure what the beef was; this is far and removed from the pain of JACK & JILL as it takes come real chances and goes for the juggler to get its laughs, some of the most un-PC laughs might I add of any recent film. Andy Samberg offers great support and plenty of SNL alumni, make cameos, the best part- NONE for David Spade or Chris Rock!

Ted – Seth McFarlane has finally branched out in this love letter to the geeks who grew up in the 80s. With appearances and references to Bond, Indiana Jones, Star Trek and Star Wars. Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis are fantastic, have some great jokes; infinite rewatchability. Who would have thought that Sam J. Jone’s best performance would be playing Flash Gordon- again! Love this movie!

21 Jumpstreet – The trend of adapting long dead television series into mediocre movies is a trend that was on the go-bye due to massive suckage, except this time it works. Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum team up as youthful looking cops who go back to high school to stop a drug ring. It follows all the usual action-comedy tropes, but with tons of wit, great supporting performances; Ice Cube being the stand-out and the most important- great jokes.

The Dictator – Sasha Boron-Cohen is attacked by a female assassin that uses her breasts as the weapon…exactly!

Best Re-Releases:

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D- An impressive box-office take of $100 million worldwide- not bad for a movie that is supposedly hated. Per usual, the crybaby losers are wrong and the pod race and Maul saber duel rocks it-again…

Raiders of the Lost Ark IMAX – Only two films have ever impressed me on the IMAX screen; this one and Prometheus. ‘Nuff said.

Best Television

Dallas- A sleeping dragon was awaken in the form of Larry Hagman as oil baron J.R. Ewing as he headlined the revival of televisions biggest phenomena when it returned in  the summer to TNT. Picking up twenty plus years after the original ended; “Dallas” (The Next Generation) is vastly agreeable, a snarky cauldron bubbling over with oil and sex, power and betrayal; just as it was all those years ago. And there is a sense that, in spite of the new faces and the injection of some 21st-century pace, sensibilities underneath everything, it’s still the same old same old and that’s exactly how it should be. With the passing of Larry Hagman in November, the show’s challenge will be to carry on and thrive if that’s even possible without him.

Biggest Disappointments

The Dark Knight Rises

Chris Nolan’s movie was a victim of the previous entries near-perfection. On my initial viewing I thought Nolan had pulled it off, broke the third-in-the-trilogy curse that nearly all superhero films have suffered; Superman III, Spider-Man III, Batman Forever- Rises is not nearly the epic failure as those, but for its pedigree earned, it should have known better and makes mistakes too freely. It’s mind-boggling in the ineptness that sneaks through. The narrative being fractured and spread out; why do the cops stay in their underground “jail” for so long and yet don’t change in appearance….when Bane breaks the Batman’s back, sends him off to the pit- how much time has passed? How long did it take to heal? And yet during all of this Gotham is held hostage by Bane and his goons… there is no clear timeline and the film feels like a total mess….

Trouble with the Curve

Clint Eastwood returned to acting for the first time since “Million Dollar Baby,” and he seems very bored. He plays a baseball scout on his way out and estranged from his daughter. I was surprised by the film’s overall dull vibe. Eastwood can usually make any line work, and sell it if needed, but here he strains to find good words to speak. Amy Adams as his daughter is the best, full of piss and vinegar, she is a real doll.  At 80 plus years old, Eastwood is always a welcomed force and his talent appreciated, but he needs to stick to his pledge of ‘no more acting.’

Worst:

Piranaha 3DD- The first film knew what it was and knew its boundaries, it embraced its B-movie orgins and exploited it with a fair amount of skill and fun. Part 2 is a parody of the first and is about as subtle as a Benny Hill sketch, only not nearly as funny. 

This Means War- Chris Pine and Tom Hardy star as friends, who are really spies, and fall for the same woman. The problem is that they are written as gay guys really in love with each other, they just don’t know it. Neither romantic nor comedic- the attempt is forgettable.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance- Ugh! Hard to believe it could be worse than the first, but it is…it is. Nic Cage has got the formula down pat on playing freaks, weirdoes and oddballs, he does a good job of playing up the absurdity of it all, but he doesn’t know when to quit. Ghostrider is a cool character, if only the producers would get off the campy, wink-wink garbage, we might have something…

Wrath of the Titans- More noisy eye-rape that makes even less sense than the pointless first. Ugly cinematography, bland special effects and incoherent editing, render this horribly forgettable.

Parental Guidance- What would Christmas be without a terrible holiday release? Not sure why Billy Crystal continues to get work with his very mediocre resume, but Mr. Box-office Poison proves his comedy is still antediluvian as it ever was. Bette Midler held hostage for 90 minutes proving to everyone she will do anything for money as well. Typical, family claptrap with emotions and sentiments about as subtle as a Benny Hill skit.

The Hunger Games- A stale rip-off of the The Running Man, written for pre-teen girls. Obnoxious, ugly. Despite its well-earned swipe at Liberalism, yet once again, infinitely forgettable.

Project X- Mean-spirited and insufferable, this yet another entry in the found footage genre fails to do anything but bother and annoy. All of the teen movie tropes are here, but the characters are all unlikeable and occasionally psychotic douchebags seeking selfish goals. The worst humanity and the genre has to offer.

Killing Them Softly- Someone forgot to write a third act and an opportunity for greatness was lost! This heist movie has some cool moments, and it’s always good to see Ray Liotta working, but too much talk and no action bring this to a crashing bust. Monotonous- forgettable dialogue, uninteresting characters, yet occasionally stylish is ruined by an obnoxious pointless performance by James Gandolffini and one boring performance from Brad Pitt. If the script read as dismal as it would be watching the movie, why did this get made at all?

Worst Remakes

Total Recall – The original had the charms and talents of Director Paul Verhoven and star Arnold Schwarzenegger. The remake has nothing and lacks the intricate plotting, wry humor, thrilling wild violence and bizarre, (Quado, anyone?) fleshed out characters that made the original a sci-fi classic.

Red Dawn – A foreign country invades the shores of the pacific northwest-high school kids from a small town band together, hide in the woods and fight them off. The original film was a bit on the far-fetched side, but had a nice pro-American message. The remake is stupid from the ground up. Korea is the invading force…..KOREA? I guess in Obama’s weak-ass era, they seem like a deadly force. The movie is just deadly dull.

The Worst thing ever in 2012

The re-election of President Barack Obama. Not since Jimmy Carter has an incumbent President had a worse performance record. The economy was in the toilet in most parts of the country, debt had accumulated to $16 trillion in a mere 3 and half years. Yet every loser, lazy moron, idiot, cement-head, half-wit, nit-wit, drooling shithead who apparently hates to work, got their wish. If ever there was a need to dump the Electoral College, this is it! I don’t think we can take 3 and half more years. It will take at least two generations to clean this idiot’s mess up.

As the Christmas holiday is approaching, here are some that underscore the reason for the season or just merely take place on the holiday and have a great story to tell. In no particular order or preference.

Die Hard 1988. The definitive action movie of the 80′s that not only made Bruce Willis, as John McClain, a household name, but also created it’s own sub-genre that today any action taking place in a cramped space is called, ‘Die Hard on a _______.”  We all know the story… as the film plays out, we have to ask how certain stunts were done as the film constantly reminds you what a logistical speculate, a marvel of engineering, and relentlessly, mercilessly thrilling and entertaining to this day. Die Hard set the bar that many movies today still can’t quite compete with this sumptuous, noisy extravaganza that gets the adrenaline pumping. Willis’s smirk and every-man persona still rings true and as he nervously drops some one-liners. Enormously popular, three sequels followed, the fifth film is on its way in February 2013. Yippee Kay-Yay, Mr. Falcon!

Lethal Weapon 1987.  The first pairing of Danny Glover and Mel Gibson, Directed by Richard Donner revamped, revitalized, rechristened the Buddy-cop formula purging it of its bloat, excess, stupidity and contrivance. Fun and razor sharp, the action is plentiful and the performances strong and memorable. The action delivers adrenaline jolts with both barrels while not skimping on character development and wry humor, but amped up with stylish and sharp direction, efficient and just a solid, well told story. Gibson’s emotionally unstable, Martin Riggs, is the film’s hook. He jumps into danger, doesn’t care if he might get killed; he’s missing his dead wife and spends most nights with a loaded Beretta in his mouth; he seems to enjoy it as do we. Glover is the sane guy with a family who constantly grumbles, “I’m too old for this shit.” Composer Michael Kamen and Eric Clapton deliver an excellent musical score just as energetic and interesting as the characters on screen. Solid all the way around! One great, one good and one lousy sequel followed. First remains the best. Still not sure what it has to do with Christmas, but it’s in there- enjoy!

It’s a Wonderful Life 1946.  What else can be said of Jimmy Stewart and Frank Capra collaboration that has not already been… it’s just simply, wonderful. A box –office disappointment, (it lost $555,000) in its initial release, the film gained a following once it hit television in the 1970’s and now is in heavy rotation becoming a holiday favorite. Highly powerful, it is one of Stewart’s most complex performances, one that didn’t get proper recognition until decades later, as he is confronted with the realization and driven to near insanity as he realizes his town doesn’t know him and he ponders the question, what would life be like for your family if you had never been born? Stewart takes George Bailey to dark places as does Director Frank Capra who was not known for edgy material, his most bold piece of work, was made to denounce atheism… The holiday setting only underscores the power and thematic point; the impact of living a good, decent, fulfilling life cannot be underestimated. The impact a person has on just one other can have massive reverberations. Our actions do speak loudly and the film’s happy ending is not merely expected, but demanded.

A Christmas Carol 1984.  Forget all previous reiterations- this is the definitive version. Broadcast on CBS television. George C. Scott stars as Ebenezer Scrooge and captures every Dickensian moment and nuance flawlessly. It’s fidelity to the novel is a sight to behold and even though this path has been taken many times, in the endless adaptations and episodic television episodes that did their takes, the end is still heartwarming. Production is simple, imaginative, at times, very dark, but well staged and never feels stiff or cramped like most television productions of the time.   One of Scott’s finest roles, his best from his television movies, he takes the character to the extreme as a grouchy old hate-filled old sinner to gleeful man of the people and a grateful believer in all things Christmas. His character arc is full, effective and believable and by the time he seeks his redemption, it’s a cathartic experience to say the least. Never once do you question his non-English, English accent, more of an old English accent with full and proper enunciation.  Scott is supported by a wonderful cast, Robin Rees as Scrooge’s nephew, Fred, David Warner and Susanna York as Bob and Mrs. Crachit, Edward and Woodward headlines the Ghost cast as the Ghost of Christmas Present.

The Muppet Christmas Carol 1992. The first production released after Henson’s death in 1990 is surprisingly, still full of charm and appeal. The Muppet’s  vibrant take on the story is fun and breezy; it’s still up there with the best. Michael Caine is excellent as a mean and moody Scrooge with a heart of stone. Gonzo and Rizzo the rat provide most of the laughs as our courageous narrators, and the rest of the Muppet gang all take part, with even Sam the Eagle making a memorable cameo (“it is the American way!”). The musical interludes are memorable (I will never tire of hearing “there goes mister humbug”) and despite huge chunks of the original story being left out, it’s a balanced and hugely entertaining take that deserves to be a festive TV staple.

 National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 1989. The best of the quad, surpassing the original with its manic performances and laugh-a-minute jokes provided by the genius writer, the late, great John Hughes. Chevy Chase heads the Griswold family as Clark, the upbeat goof who doesn’t really learn his lessons from family gatherings. Packed from scene to scene with one memorable joke after another, (the kids have changed again, this time Rusty is the younger child) the film has a sentimental streak a mile wide that is hard to deny. Cousin Eddie and his brood are equally dysfunctional in their redneck ways. Critics missed the boat on this one, but the film continues to endure, 23 years later.

Scrooged 1988. The best off-shoot adaption of one of the most adapted stories ever. Bill Murray and Director Richard Donner give a comedic take on the Dickens tale and although misshapen and at times pandering; Murray gives an entertaining performance, even though he’s meaner than the real Scrooge ever was. Cast as Frank Cross, a nasty, heartless television network executive who green lights such inspired and inappropriate Christmas specials titled, “The Night the Reindeer Died“, with an AK-47 toting Lee Majors and “A Cajun Christmas with Robert Goulet.” All of the television jabs are dead-on perfect; the Solid Gold dancers showing their nipples during a live Christmas broadcast is brilliant. It’s when the Dickens story comes in and tries to take over, that doesn’t quite work, Murray is still yucking it up when he should just shut up and act. The script is filled with dark and ingenious twists on an over told tale. Still, despite its wobbly pace, the jokes are still great some a little too adult, as when Cross throws water on a burning waiter, “I’m sorry, I thought you were Richard Pryor.”  The supporting cast is full of familiar faces; Karen Allen, John Forsythe, Alfre Woodard, Ann Ramsey, Carol Kane steals the show as an abusive Fairy, former front man of the New York Dolls, punker David Johansen, is perfect as the cigar chomping Ghost of Christmas Past and Bobcat Goldthwait as Bob Crachit. Cross’s transformation is expected of course, but Murray has fun with it and the ending, with its breaking of the fourth wall, makes for an unlikely holiday favorite.

Bad Santa 2003.  Billy Bob Thornton plays the worst Santa Claus- ever. Foul, mean-spirited, inappropriate, politically incorrect demented, twisted and tremendously funny. This raunchy comedy has more heart and Christmas spirit than most traditional holiday-themed flicks. Despite its cast of wackos- Bernie Mac, John Ritter (his last film) and Lauren Graham give great performances. Thornton lets it all hang out as Willie, a drunk, a loser and a thief, who has a black midget sidekick dressed as an Elf, he as Santa as they plan to rob a local mall. Willie finds redemption in a very Dickensian sort of way becoming an unlikely role model for a lonely kid named Thurman who lives with his clueless grandmother. Not for everybody and especially the entire family, but it makes for a great antidote when things get a little too sickly sweet.

A Christmas Story 1983. Mostly overlooked during its initial release, (sounds familiar) the movie gained its now classic reputation from the many cable television airings and 24 hour marathons throughout the 1980’s. This brilliant comedy, Directed by Bob Clark, (Yes, the same guy), the film takes place in Indiana in 1940 pre-WWII middle America. A nostalgic and easily relatable look back is also loaded with sarcastic jokes and inspired one-liners.  10 year-old Ralphie wants a BB gun for Christmas, but the adults object, “you’ll shoot your eye out, kid.” What follows is a quest by Ralphie as he persists and cajoles to get the best Christmas gift- ever.  A humorous narration by the story’s writer Jean Shepard provides some of the film’s best moments as adult Ralphie taking a walk down memory lane ass he recalls with fondness the foibles of his parents. The Old Man, his Dad, Darren McGavin is hilarious as he becomes obsessed with a leg lamp in the shape of a female leg “Fragile… Must be Italian.”  His schoolyard, friend, Schwartz, who sticks his tongue on the icy flagpole, gets a beating and the false blame for saying the dreaded “Queen Mother of Dirty Words,” the “F-dash-dash-dash” word, the F-word. Hilarious and heartfelt, there is never a false moment or over-the-top corniness. It’s sentimental without being fake and genuine without being calculating never trades a thing for a good joke. The cast is great from the top on down, especially Peter Billingsley as the bugged-eye and enthusiastic Ralphie.

 Love Actually  2003.  British Director Richard Curtis set out to make the “ultimate romantic comedy,” and although I usually cringe as such tripe, this one works in the face of it’s massive attempt of a dozen main characters, eight couples each weaving his or her way into another’s stories over the course of one particularly eventful Christmas in London. The film is about love in its many forms and guises: love between siblings, love between parents and children, love between spouses, puppy love, platonic love, unrequited love, and (of course) sexual/romantic love. Not all of the stories are comedy, two go the dramatic route and are quite good; Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman, married couple, Karen and Harry, seeking to rekindle some passion, Harry, secretly pines for a young colleague of his. Thompson is the movie’s best performance as she opens a package not intended for her realizing it’s for the other woman. Lara Linney’s office crush on her younger co-worker comes to a crashing end as she can not deny her mentally ill brother’s constant attention. A huge cast led by mostly British actors- Liam Neeson, Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Emma Thompson, Kiera Knightley, Alan Rickman, Billy Nighy and Rowan Atkinson. We have a few American actors, Billy Bob Thornton as an American president who’s Bill Clinton sleaze factor is obvious, Eliza Cuthbert and Laura Linney. Probably not recommended for those with Diabetes as things get a little too sweet, but it’s nice not to have to suffer through modern cynicism via Kate Hudson or Katherine Heigel.

Black Christmas 1974. Bob Clark’s underrated horror gem is stylish and skillfully done, subtle, tense and peppered with familiar genre faces like, John Saxon, Margot Kidder, Olivia Hussey and Keir Dullea…An escaped mental patient takes refuge in a Sorority sister’s house. At first he makes obscene phone calls which leads to the films great sense of humor, but then gets nasty as the killer begins to pick them off one by one. Even up to the climax, the film never goes for cheap scares of over-the-top violence, just good old fashion tension and some excellent mood setting. Highly influential and admired, a sequel was planned to take place on “Halloween,” but John Carpenter beat them to it with his brilliant opus. Many forget this created a sub-genre of film that still exists today.